quarter life crisis

5 Questions to Figure Out Your Passion in Life

Everybody says to “follow your passion” but is passion a concrete thing? Can millennials classify it as one thing. I’d been working and gaining experience since I was 16 in a variety of different fields. There was freelance photography, working on higher education political initiatives, marketing, but struggled to figure out my dream career when I came across a book called The Art of Work*. While I didn’t know it at the time, it would prove to be the exact thing I needed to get me thinking how I would move forward in my life.

“I don’t know what my passion is,” she said. “But I know I like to help people.”

I thought to myself, “I used to feel that way, too.”

We aren’t alone. I know there are other millennials out there who feel the same way. We are told to follow our passion, but how do we follow it if we don’t know what the heck it is?

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I contemplated that same question on my 25th birthday. It tired me out to think about passion as a concrete thing — if I could even classify it as one thing.

I’d been working and gaining experience since I was 16 in a variety of different fields.

There was freelance photography, working on higher education political initiatives, marketing at an amusement park, working with an organization that connected investors and entrepreneurs, and the three early stage Silicon Valley startups I worked at.

Over the past 10 years, I had been hopping from thing to thing, trying to see what I liked and didn’t like.

Each time, I gathered more skills and built more professional relationships. But nothing ever seemed like it was the absolute perfect fit. The one thing I could see myself doing forever.

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But then on one sunny day in July 2015, I came across a book called The Art of Work*.

While I didn’t know it at the time, it would prove to be the exact thing I needed to get me thinking how I would move forward in my life.

It was a series of questions the author asked that prompted follow-on questions within myself.

“What comes easy to you that’s not so obvious to others?”

This got me thinking of how I find it easy to build professional relationships — or, the dirty word, “network” — and how friends were always asking me questions about what to do with their career.

“Do I also enjoy talking about career and networking stuff?”

Yes, I do! In fact, I don’t mind teaching about this stuff. People ask me so many questions that I’ve already resorted to writing blog posts on commonly mentioned subjects to direct them to that.

“Why do I enjoy talking and helping people on these topics?”

It’s something I’ve personally gone through; I’ve struggled to figure out my career. Six years ago, I didn’t know how to network, talk to people professionally, and all that. But because I’ve practiced, I now have a wealth of knowledge that could benefit other 20- somethings just starting out.

“Is this my passion?”

I want to help people and provide value in their lives. This constitutes a meaningful use of my time in helping other 20-somethings figure out their career, so this makes sense. I think this is a much more practical way for me to look at the concept of passion.

“Could I see myself doing this for 10 years?”

Yes, it was the first time in my job-hopping life that I’d envisioned myself doing anything for 10 years. Usually, I would see myself at any given place for a year and then bouncing. So I knew it was a good start.

It would take me another six months to finally quit my job. But when I did, you bet I started on my dream of building my own career coaching business to help millennials.

Let me ask you:

What do your friends trust your advice in?

Is this something you enjoy teaching other people about?

It doesn’t have to be forever, but could you see yourself in this career for the next five or 10 years?

These simple questions could be the start of a more fulfilling career path.

Speaking of new career path… Grab TCM’s Job Search Checklist!

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Mimi Zheng is a millennial career coach, writer, and world traveler, currently based in Taiwan. After landing a dream job in Silicon Valley from a Tweet, friends and colleagues began approaching Mimi for career advice. With time and coaxing from trusted mentors, Mimi realized she needed to go off on her own. Today she passionately serves 20 somethings figure out their careers and collaborates with them on an action plan forward. Mimi’s writing and expert advice can be seen on The Huffington Post and Thought Catalog. I hope you enjoyed this article!

If you are confused about what your passion is, I’ve put together a list of 10 Questions to Help You Figure Out Your Passion through understanding your strengths. My hope is that you’ll go through this exercise and have a better understanding of areas where you are strong in and like doing!

5 Tips for transitioning into the work force after college

“Any tips for the workforce transition and how to find balance between work, school and finding your own passion outside of it all?” If you’re anything like I was… I was itching by the end of my last year in college to get to “the real world” – I think it was more of the unknown of what laid ahead that had me itching, than actually wanting to be out of college. I wanted to “just know” what was going to happen post-college life. I learned five big lessons and want to share these 5 tips for transitioning into the real world post college – The Confused Millennial

ASK RACHEL…

Reader Question: Currently trudging through my senior year of college. Any tips for the workforce transition and how to find balance between work, school and finding your own passion outside of it all?

If you’re anything like I was… I was itching by the end of my last year in college to get to “the real world” – I think it was more of the unknown of what laid ahead that had me itching, than actually wanting to be out of college. I wanted to “just know” what was going to happen post-college life.

So first of all, enjoy this time!!! Your life will never be the same after college. My fiance and I constantly talk about how easy life was back in school. There are many other perks to post-college life, but it’s very different.

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5 Tips for Finding Your Passion While Transitioning Into the Workforce / Real World

1. Internships. If you haven’t already, get an internship, like YESTERDAY! Seriously, I hated working for free, but because of my undergraduate internships, it led to me making some serious coin during my graduate degree (like double than what my classmates were making).

Always be strategic about your internships though. I had two really defining internships: one was at a law office, the other as a counselor in a mental health and substance abuse treatment center. I was deciding between the two vastly different career paths, and without going through that experience and my internships, I probably wouldn’t realize bigger passions of mine (like being an entrepreneur) as quickly as I did. I constantly am contacted by people who are older than me, still in the 9-5 grind, wishing they could quit and follow their passion. I whole heartedly believe that internships are a major key in discovering your passion and boosting your earning potential.

Internship PRO tip: Make it clear from the start that you are seeking employment. This can go at the end of your elevator pitch when they ask you to tell them about yourself and sound something like:

“I discovered my passion for X while doing Y. I realized it was an innate gift of mine when teachers kept putting me in leadership positions surrounding this skill. Currently I am seeking an internship with (insert something specific/unique about the company) that will lead to employment opportunities at it’s conclusion.”

2. Say “YES”. Even if you have no idea what your doing, say yes during this time in your life. Say yes to work, friends, whatever.

Two big points here: work and friends.

At work, say “yes” – for a lot of us, myself included, when we are afraid our knee jerk reaction is to say “no” because we don’t want to look dumb or mess something up. Get in the habit of saying yes and figuring it out later at work. You’re young and expected to make mistakes at this point so learn with a vengeance and always fail forward!

With friends: People forget that your friends and acquaintances in college and post-college are going to be a big part of your career in ways that you could never guess.

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Seriously this guy will probably come back around and help you network your way into that killer big city job!

… Okay maybe it won’t be Zac Efron, but I’ll leave this here…

Friends can use their network to help you get that promotion, refer you business, or even become a business partner! There is something magical about relationships formed in college and during your first job(s)… a lot of times these are the friendships that are going to carry you through your third decade, if not further.

So next time you are tempted to say “no” because you have too much work to do or something, remember that balance and friendships are still investing in your future and should be prioritized and scheduled, just like revamping your resume and Linkedin.

3. Resume. I am sure if you are reading this, you have a resume. However, I can’t stress this enough, it probably sucks. Maybe it’s because of poor grammar and spelling, or you lack work experience, who knows. The reality is your resume is probably ish right now.

How do I know? Two reasons: 1) Mine was crap when I was 20 and 2) I receive countless resumes from college students wanting internships, and I would say out of 10 only 1 is good. I have hired interns with crap resumes, but usually regretted it. So get with a career coach (shameless plug here —> that’s me! www.rachelritlop.com) or start studying the craft of a resume and cold email.

4. Step up your e-mail etiquette. One of the toughest things for most twenty somethings to get right when transitioning into the workforce is e-mail etiquette. Check out this article for some helpful tips and if you have a question, don’t hesitate to ask.

5. Be prepared to be a little depressed. After college, you are probably either going to be really excited or a little depressed. Whether it’s because of change, leaving your friends behind, having to move back in with your parents, or you just experienced rejection for the first time from that job you had really high hopes for… most of us drop into a bit of a funk after college… Especially as the Instagram posts and Snaps start coming in from friends that seem to have magically mastered the transition.

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Give yourself permission to work through those feelings, but then set a deadline for yourself to get back to life and things you enjoyed. For instance, think about what gets you really excited and energized now? Write those down. Don’t forget those. the real world is going to want to rip those things away from you and fog your head with what you “should” be doing.

ALSO: My friend Kayla, also wrote a fantastic resource for transitioning twenty somethings, called the Corporate Survival Guide for Your Twenties: A Guide to Help You Navigate the Business World* (Amazon Affiliate link, but I really love this book and can’t sing it’s praise enough!).

Before you go grab your FREE guide to perfecting the 30 second elevator pitch!

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5 Steps to Make Anything Happen

How do you and I tap into that inner motivating force that tells us to go out there and create new things or set out to accomplish new goals even when fear and rejection feel crippling? I call it the “START” framework. Similar to the idea behind setting SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-based) goals. It has helped me immensely as I’ve worked to set clearer goals and as I’ve looked for ways to improve my overall level of happiness in my day-to-day life. How did I come up with this? I sketched out this framework (I hate that word, but it works in this instance…) after speaking with close friends and like-minded millennials that I felt represented the “gung ho” spirit I hoped to foster in myself. I also read a ton of articles and books on topics related to goal setting and motivation, some of which sucked but a lot that drastically improved my ability to reach my goals. - The Confused Millennial on setting goals — How do you and I tap into that inner motivating force that tells us to go out there and create new things or set out to accomplish new goals even when fear and rejection feel crippling? I call it the “START” framework. Similar to the idea behind setting SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-based) goals. It has helped me immensely as I’ve worked to set clearer goals and as I’ve looked for ways to improve my overall level of happiness in my day-to-day life. How did I come up with this? I sketched out this framework (I hate that word, but it works in this instance…) after speaking with close friends and like-minded millennials that I felt represented the “gung ho” spirit I hoped to foster in myself. I also read a ton of articles and books on topics related to goal setting and motivation, some of which sucked but a lot that drastically improved my ability to reach my goals. – The Confused Millennial on setting goals

Do you have any friends that just seem to have all of their shit together on social media?

You know…the ones graduating from law school, starting killer jobs, launching companies, buying homes, getting married, giving talks and gallivanting around the globe.

They’re the ones I’ve been Facebook-stalking for the last 45 minutes while I put off writing this blog post, and they’re the ones that I am simultaneously envious of and excited for when I see how well they seem to be moving into adulthood.

I have a lot of friends like this, and I’ll be honest with you… I feel frustrated and disheartened when I see their posts on Facebook and Instagram. I try to put on a good show, but I often don’t feel like I have the same wherewithal or foresight to plan out my career or structure my goals in such a coherent way that I will be living the glamorous life of a digital nomad with a picture perfect family all at the same time.

Life is busy, and if I somehow have time and energy left over after coming home from a long day of work, I’m much more likely to go for a run or watch Netflix than I am to sit down and spend an hour mapping out my life goals.

Time and time again, I fall into the trap of comparing myself to others. Frozen by inaction because I think to myself, “I will never be perfect”, or “Nobody will accept me”. Who can relate?

So how do you and I tap into that inner motivating force that tells us to go out there and create new things or set out to accomplish new goals even when fear and rejection feel crippling?

Well I put this system in place in my life that I want to share with you. It has helped me immensely as I’ve worked to set clearer goals and as I’ve looked for ways to improve my overall level of happiness in my day-to-day life.

How did I come up with this? I sketched out this framework (I hate that word, but it works in this instance…) after speaking with close friends and like-minded millennials that I felt represented the “gung ho” spirit I hoped to foster in myself. I also read a ton of articles and books on topics related to goal setting and motivation, some of which sucked but a lot that drastically improved my ability to reach my goals.

What is this magical framework? I call it the “START” framework. Similar to the idea behind setting SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-based) goals.

Basically, “START” focuses on five simple steps:

1) Simplify. Reduce the number of outside distractions in your life, and cut out as many decisions as you can to leave more time (and energy) for creative pursuits. This means cutting out activities that reduce your focus or affect your mood in specific ways. I stopped listening to the news in the morning because I found that it depressed me and continued to distract me throughout the day. I also made an effort to avoid television after work during the week, instead choosing to spend time with friends or reading.

Ultimately, if you are unsure as to whether or not you should cut something out of your day-to-day routine, ask yourself one simple question: Does this activity enhance or improve my life in a significant way? If you answer in the negative, it’s time to seriously consider ways you can reduce the time spent on that activity, or cut it out entirely.

2) Target. This requires the most effort out of all five steps, but it’s hands down the most important. Spend 30 minutes to an hour thinking about what you want to accomplish in the next 3-6 months (short term goals), and what you want to accomplish in the next year or more (long term goals). Write these goals down and put them somewhere where you will see them every day. Sometimes it is easiest to start with what you want to accomplish in the long run, and then reverse engineering those goals to fit your needs.

Also, don’t forget, make all of your goals SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-based). This will keep you grounded and make you accountable to yourself as you identify ways to take action on those goals.

3) Act. Do something. Do anything. Stop thinking and make a move. I think humans are programmed to look for ways to avoid work whenever possible, and we are much less likely to take action in an area where we have little or no experience, or if we fear being ridiculed for our work. Still, the best way to improve is through practice, and practice takes action.

Make a pact with yourself to do something each day that will enhance or improve your life. Whether it’s taking action by making a step towards accomplishing one of your short term goals (i.e. training for a 10k or learning to cook amazing paella) or setting out a game plan to tackle a long term goal (i.e. starting a new company or going to graduate school), take one action or create one thing that takes you closer to accomplishing one of your goals.

4) Review. Commit to reviewing your progress on at least a semi-regular basis, be it once a month or once a year. Take note of what worked well, what didn’t, and what you can improve next time around. I do this once every 6 months so I have the opportunity to make progress on my goals before I perform a thorough review. I keep a list of my personal and professional goals in a spread sheet in Google Drive, so it’s easy for me to go back and look at them at any time.

What I’ve found is that I will typically have 1 to 2 goals that I have made strong progress towards and am very proud of. At the same time, I’ll have another 3 to 4 goals that require significant work, and I will also typically have 3 to 4 goals on my list that were unrealistic given the circumstances. This means that I will be forced to re-evaluate whether or not to adjust them or remove them completely. This is expected, and you shouldn’t be disheartened if you set your sights too high at first. You may in-fact realize that by setting optimistic stretch goals (also know as “BHAGs”, or Big Hairy Audacious Goals) you find that you are more highly motivated to perform and do amazing things.

5) Translate. As you make progress on your goals and start to change the way you think about the strategies you implement, take the best practices you’ve developed and translate them to other parts of your life. Maybe you’ve made huge progress on your personal health goals, but you’re still looking to change your career path. Take the motivational techniques you’ve developed and translate them into a job search or the creation of a new business plan. Once you’ve developed these skills in one area, the same framework and structures will support you in enhancing other aspects of your life.

It seems simple, but you would be surprised by just how many people never think through what they actually want or how they will get from point A to point B to accomplish it.

The steps I’ve outlined above may not be right for everyone, but the reasoning behind them is sound. I’ve spoken with millennials around the world on the topic of motivation, and I’ve seen many very talented young people waste their time and grow frustrated because they lack the foresight and planning to take that next step toward accomplishing their goals. This framework provided me with a platform for taking that next step, and I hope it can help you too.

GRAB TCM’s guide to goal setting

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McVal Osborne researches and writes about various topics related to motivation, decision making, strategic thinking and how people set goals. He graduated from UC Santa Barbara in 2011 with a degree in Spanish, and has since worked as a business consultant in Washington D.C., New York City and London.

3 Inspirational Movies for Millennials

Feeling like you're on the verge of a quarter life crisis? Want some clarity and inspiration on the meaning of life and other life lessons in your twenties? Check out these three movies for clarity, hope, and motivation in navigating your third decade. - The Confused Millennial — Feeling like you’re on the verge of a quarter life crisis? Want some clarity and inspiration on the meaning of life and other life lessons in your twenties? Check out these three movies for clarity, hope, and motivation in navigating your third decade. – The Confused Millennial

I have never claimed to be any sort of film critic, but I have seen a lot of different movies, everything from artsy foreign films to stupid-fun action movies. Through every movie, I’ve learned a lot about how humans see the world and how sometimes a movie can say exactly what we need to hear. There is a little something that I think everyone in their twenties can get from this little list of films (in no particular order):

1) Almost Famous (Cameron Crowe, 2000)

“It’s All Happening.”

First of all, this movie is incredibly underrated. If you love music, this movie is a must-see. There is a phrase they use throughout the entire film, “It’s all happening.” I have tried to explain what this means to people who haven’t seen the movie time and again, but it is admittedly difficult. So I’m going to try my best. I think that people get so caught up in the past and the future that when it comes down to it, it is really difficult to remain planted in the present. Especially people in their twenties. We get so caught up in societal pressures of how successful we are going to be, or where we are going to be in five years, or even who we are going to marry. We forget what it means to be a human and that all we have in the end is the present. Because the past we cannot change, and the future won’t always be there. So don’t worry too much, enjoy where you’re at right now. Because indeed, it is all happening.

2) Romeo and Juliet (Baz Luhrmann, 1996)

Bear with me on this one!

I know that we all saw this, what some may describe as crappy, version of Shakespeare’s classic play when we were in high school. I think though that I didn’t appreciate this film/book for everything it was the first time I saw it. There are obvious things to be learned about love from this movie, we can all agree on that. But I think when you come at it from a different perspective, it changes everything you thought you knew.

1) Don’t have regrets

2) Don’t get too caught up in what love is

What I learned most from this story is how everything is a domino effect, and how one beautiful thing is worth more than all the shitty things. If Romeo hadn’t have crashed the Capulets party, he never would have met his great love. If one tiny thing would have changed, we possibly wouldn’t have the greatest love story of all time. And that is the way to look at it.

The shitty things have to happen for the great things to do so. Without falling apart, nothing would come together. Without failing that class, you wouldn’t have learned something about yourself. Without getting laid off, you wouldn’t have found your dream job. Often we get so caught up in how horrible things can be that we forget the amazing moments that come out of that. Things may be tough, but something great will come to you because of it.

The second important thing that I think you need to hear at this time in your life is that you can’t get caught up in certain societal ideas of love, including your own fantasies of what love should be. Being in love, or out of love, is going to look different to everyone. And that is okay. Don’t lose yourself in a relationship, yes. But also don’t lose out on the one truly magical experience we are allowed to have because of what others think they know about it. I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t read too much into the place you may or may not be romantically in your life right now. Feel everything. Cherish everything. That is the most important part.

3) The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Stephen Chbosky, 2012)

Honestly, this book and movie mean the absolute world to me. When I was in high school, I saw Perks for the first time (I later read the book by Stephen Chbosky, and I always read the book first so don’t judge me). At this particular time in my life, I needed so badly to hear so many of the things in that film. The idea of ‘infinite moments has stuck with me to this day. I am completely obsessed with this idea that one moment can change everything; that one moment can last forever. I have this specific memory of high school. I was going to Junior Prom with my closest friends and the boy I assumed to be the love of my life. I was driving in a limo and ‘Midnight City’ by M83 came on. The giggling in that car, the sunset outside, the perfect song at the perfect time, they all made me feel so…there. It was all happening. Everything, for that few minutes, was perfect. And beautiful. And lovely. It didn’t matter that up until that high school had been shit, and that the rest of my high school career would be shit. None of that mattered, all I held onto was the one moment in which infinity existed. I look back on it now and realize there haven’t been a ton of those moments in my life, but those are the moments I think of the most. Listening to my favorite record in my studio apartment with my boyfriend, driving in a Jeep on the streets of Monterey with the top down, watching the ocean at night with my best friend, not saying anything at all. It doesn’t matter that everything doesn’t really matter, or that life is just a bunch of experiences built up. All that matters is the beauty of those moments when we feel like everything is what we want it to be.

I may see the world through rose-colored glasses. Or maybe I’ve just learned to look for all the things that life is trying to say. I hope that you cherish these things as much as I do, and try to really take something away from the world around you. Even if it is something as simple as a movie.

About Bree C. Hodge: “I want to contribute to the chaos.”

Hi lovelies, my name is Bree and I am the newest contributing writer to The Confused Millennial. I am so incredibly excited to have the opportunity to reach out to others like myself and just get real. A little bit about me. I’m a California girl, residing in the San Francisco Bay Area, but have spent the last three years in Monterey Bay where I attended college. I am a barista at Starbucks Coffee, which explains my obnoxious obsession with coffee and tea. I love reading books more than anything, as well as watching films. My favorite thing in the entire world is Harry Potter, and I’m sure you’ll hear me talk about it a lot. I am pursuing a degree in Environmental Studies with a minor in Journalism. I am a vegetarian, and will tell you all about it if you want to hear. I love to be in nature and feel close to the universe, as well as spend time with my closest friends and boyfriend. I just want to change people’s lives, and make a difference, even if that is only through my writing. Thank you for the opportunity to do so, and I look forward to the future with #TCMillennial.

How I Accidentally Got a Master’s Degree

Should you get a master's degree? Should you go into the workforce after undergrad? How did I get a graduate degree? Check out the Young Professionalist's journey towards a graduate degree on The Confused Millennial! — Should you get a master’s degree? Should you go into the workforce after undergrad? How did I get a graduate degree? Check out the Young Professionalist’s journey towards a graduate degree on The Confused Millennial!

I Accidentally Got a Master’s Degree

“No, don’t ask me again,” is what I told my mom when she asked me for the umpteenth time if I was going to go back to school for my master’s degree. It just wasn’t happening. I was done with school and I wanted a break but somehow, some way I ended up with an accidental graduate degree. Let me explain…

It’s 2010 and I have literally a month left of school. I’m on a high and ready to start adulting. Any college senior or recent graduate will tell you the number one question everyone’s asking them is, “are you going to get your master’s degree?” If they don’t ask that then it’s almost always about post graduate employment. After the multiple questions on graduate school and work life after college I was still settled on not attending grad school.

One day on my way home on the subway a cute little school in the middle of Philadelphia named Drexel University decided to stalk me through marketing initiatives. Everywhere I went there were advertisements for continuing education. I couldn’t escape it so naturally I decided to take a look at the website and boom I fell into the trap!

No application fee?

My GPA is high enough not to take the GRE?

The admissions essay is easy too?

Come on now I have to do this just for funsies! I can at least say that if I was accepted that I had the honor of being considered for such a prestigious school.

Alright, the application was complete and off to the admissions office. I can’t remember the time frame but it wasn’t long before Drexel contacted me and told me that I had been accepted. “Oh crap, they like me! They really like me!” So, what if I explore this a little more and maybe apply for financial aid? It’s free so again, why not for funsies?

You can guess what happens next. Financial aid decisions come back and it’s going to cover the costs of grad school through loans and grants. Well, for funsies let’s try out a semester. It was a great decision because I enjoyed every minute of the first semester and decided this was the right decision after all.

Since completing the program, my master’s degree has allowed me to take management positions and earn higher salaries in my young career. I was able to meet classmates from all over the country and build my first, “real network.” The degree has its benefits and I’m not upset about taking the journey. I had no intention of going to grad school but what I realized is life has a way of pushing us into the right direction even if it is just for funsies. And that’s how I accidentally got a master’s degree!

Are you ready to jump into graduate school or the workforce? Get our goal setting guide to help you stay on track!

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Antoinette is a program manager for a financial counseling agency and blogger at The Young Professionalist where she documents her experiences as a millennial in the corporate world. When she’s not climbing the corporate ladder Antoinette can be found on Twitter, Instagram or spending time with her puppy, Maci.

3 Painstaking Truths in Life & How to Overcome Them

Adulting is hard. Growing up is difficult. We get a lot of advice that can lead to perfection paralysis or comparison, leaving us stuck or unfulfilled. Check out these tips on how to overcome unsolicited advice and still be a successful millennial.

I am a creative, but it took me a long time to realize and embrace this part of myself. When I was a little girl, I was constantly writing short stories and drawing. I loved it. Then fear kicked in and I stopped showing off my work. Fear has crippled me on and off for years. I would start painting, have a stack of finished or half finished work, that and decide to throw it away rather than display or show them off. I would start a blog, then stop after a month. I’ve been “working on” a book for the last nine years. I was terrified to have any of my work judged (heck if you go on The Confused Millennial’s Instagram page (formerly my personal page) you will barely see a single selfie out of fear of judgement!). Even in keeping up with this blog in it’s infancy, I am scared I will get writer’s block again and quit.

I think it’s normal to struggle with identifying as a creative when these spurts have happened so frequently (and infrequently) in my life.

I want to take a look at some of the best (and simultaneously worst) advice I have received (primarily for blogging and starting a business, but it holds true in most other areas of life as well):

Create a schedule and stick to it. This is some of the most common advice in life. Whether you are trying to start a business, job searching, or working out. In the blogging world, I often hear: “if you reader’s expect a new post every Monday, you better have one!” This advice actually stopped me from getting serious with blogging for years! It seemed like way too much pressure to commit to posting on certain days of the week forever. I was even more scared to commit to writing a “good” (read: perfect) post each week. I was so scared if there was a typo, or uninteresting topic, readers would never come back and that would be the end… This perfection paralysis ultimately led to insane writers block. It’s been over 2 years since my last attempt at starting a blog, and I think what has been so freeing with this blog, is that I am trying to embrace the typos (read the homepage disclaimer) and sub-par grammar at times. Sometimes I am so passionate about some of my posts, I barely get through an editing once-over before hitting “publish”… and that’s okay! I do agree with creating a schedule and sticking to it, but not every post needs to be pristine, today I challenge myself to get the post up, and if I need to edit it after, I do.

Know your audience. This is great advice whether you are launching a business or finding a career, but it can again, lead to perfection paralysis. I think part of the reason I’ve been attracted to working with millennials is that I understand the struggle, because it’s just as real for me, as it is for you. Sure, I know how to brand myself as an expert, but inside I don’t really feel any different than you… just figuring it out as I go trying to tame all my interests and passions. I think it’s important when starting a blog, or figuring out who your audience is, to know yourself above all else; otherwise you will get swallowed by the noise out there. When blogging, write to yourself. Would you be interested in the content you are putting out there? When job searching, look at your resume or interview responses and ask yourself “Would you be interested in the skill set you’re boasting to an employer?” Usually we have a lot in common with our target audience, it’s why we are drawn to them.

Be true to your voice. Again, great advice, but how the heck do I find this voice you speak of? We seem to need this voice in our careers, it’s often linked by to our “uniqueness” and our “creativity” (aka what makes us desirable to hire or work with). As someone who has been writing on and off since I was six years old, this is tough to find. I have tried copying and modeling myself after people I’ve looked up to, and always felt like part of me was missing from the work. Recently, I’ve had a few conversations with people who are struggling with finding their voice… I think the funny thing in adulting, is unlearning all the BS we learned in school and from society. My voice, is how I talk with my friends… it’s grammatically incorrect at times, I make up words, and I curse like a sailor… and that’s okay. Obviously there is a place and a time for different aspects of your voice, but too often people speak of this elusive voice without really helping anyone get to it, so let me re-write this even clearer for you:

you’re voice is how you talk with your closest friends.

That’s it. Think about it… that’s usually when you are your most creative and unique self. This is when your guard is down and you’re more comfortable and authentic. Don’t try to be more polished or more crude than you actually are. Do try to make your thoughts coherent and logical (if you’re prone to rants like me 😉). Don’t worry about appealing to that “ideal audience” if it’s not true to your voice, because even if you have that audience eating out of the palm of your hand, you will (probably) be miserable.

With love,

What advice has been great, but has you frozen with perfection paralysis? I would love for you to comment below or send me an e-mail!

Want some more inspiration? Download our list of photo-a-day prompts for June!

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Inspiring Millennials with Tayo Rockson

Tayo Rockson is the founder of UYD Media and founding editor of BrandEdu. Tayo is a media personality and third culture kid whose mission in life is to inspire the next set of global leaders to use their difference to make a difference. Tayo shares about how a near death experience redefined his career and purpose in life. Watch the full vlog interview on The Confused Millennial.

Happy #MotivationalMonday!

I love today’s guest: Tayo Rockson. Seriously this guys energy and passion is so contagious, that after this you are going to want to say “Screw limits and ceilings! I am going to break barriers and make a difference in the world!”

Tayo’s goal in life is “to inspire the next step of global leaders by inspiring them to use their difference to make a difference”

He grew up in five different countries on four different continents so he considers himself a citizen of the world. He has lived in Sweden, Burkina Faso, Nigeria, Vietnam and the United States and his goal is to ultimately leave the world a better place than it was before he came into it, which he is totally succeeding at! He talks all about how he “uses his difference to make a difference” and where this tagline came from!

Tayo is the founding editor of BrandEdU and the CEO of UYD Media. Both companies are committed to helping millennials pursue their passions in careers they love while making a difference. His work has been seen on the Huffington Post, Among Worlds Magazine as well as Global Living Magazine. He is an authority on Third Culture Kids and assimilation into new cultures. He is the author of The Ultimate Guide To TCK Living and through his podcast and blog, he is heard and read by thousands of people in over 100 countries.

During the interview Tayo discusses:

– How he re-defined himself as an expert (And how you can too!)

– How he found his purpose and overcame obstacles and adversity to make it a reality

– And what his life has looked like since finding his authentic voice and passion

“be brave enough to be yourself in today’s world” – Tayo Rockson

Connect with Tayo on his website or twitter.

Make sure to download our goal setting guide to help your dreams become a reality!

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Half truths & passive aggressiveness. – Putting Others Down to Elevate Yourself.

Never meet your heroes. It's a common phrase, check out what happened when I learned the truth, that many public figures put others down to elevate themselves. Self improvement requires effective and supportive communication. Don't be passive aggressive and tell half truths to make yourself look better. — Never meet your heroes. It’s a common phrase, check out what happened when I learned the truth, that many public figures put others down to elevate themselves. Self improvement requires effective and supportive communication. Don’t be passive aggressive and tell half truths to make yourself look better.

Recently I had an encounter with someone I once looked up to. She was a thought leader in my industry and I was hoping to connect and learn from her (maybe even become friends! We seemed to have so much in common!). I was hoping to get on her radar and join her network… only to have all of it shattered when I realized she was full of insecurities, competitive thinking, showmanship, and crap, all veiled under the pretenses of “enlightenment” and “compassion”.

At the same time this realization hit, so did this article on Business Insider where Stefanie Williams destroyed under paid Talia Jane. When I first read the article, I remember agreeing with some points, feeling Stefanie’s passion I even thought about sharing it, but then stopped myself because I realized I never actually read the original article she was referring to by Talia, and I didn’t want to spread such criticism without considering Talia’s experience. You see, I too waitressed to get to where I wanted to be, but there is a HUGE difference between waitressing or bartending and earning minimum wage. I see this often with my clients who are working minimum wage and for one reason or another can’t get a serving job. In serving you can make minimum wage, but you can also make $500 in one hour. There’s a huge difference in supporting yourself on these wages, and I have a lot of respect and empathy for Talia’s struggle.

I am SO glad I waited to share the article because today, this article by Sara popped up.

Sara writes, “Spoiler: kicking a younger sister when she’s down in self-congratulatory snark is neither gracious nor humble.”

Just like Stefanie, this person I once looked up to, used my low point to bolster her own false sense of being “better than” us younger more inexperienced folk. In this person’s weekly newsletter she used my weakness, my mistake, my struggle to put herself on a pedestal; describing herself as if she transcended above it all by being able to identify her emotional plight – however where is her action to support that awareness? Being aware of your internal dialogue is only half the battle… it’s what you do with that awareness that matters! How are you actually the change? You see Stefanie and this person did not actually offer compassion, empathy, or a helping hand. They both judged and passive aggressively attacked Talia and myself, only to boost themselves higher with half-baked truths and buzz words.

Words only mean so much – but your actions truly define you and it really does break my heart to pull back the curtain on these things and see the truth.

Recently, www.whatmillennialswant.com asked me what I was “confused” about and I stated “everything and nothing all at the same time” – and it’s because of exchanges like these described above.

Nothing is ever what meets the eye, and I guess this week was a friendly reminder from the universe to not believe everything you read on the internet ;-).

NOTE, in an effort to not be full of crap, I want to shine a light on myself and my past: I’ve lied, I’ve cheated, I’ve stolen, I’ve been passive aggressive, and made more mistakes than I can count in my life. I’ve said one thing and done another. I am not perfect, I am not transcended, but I do try to make an effort that my words align with my emotions and my actions. If it doesn’t feel right and I can’t support it with action, I usually (96% of the time) won’t say it or agree to it; and I certainly WON’T promote it.

Nobody is perfect, my issue is when others go on larger platforms to promote that they are better than instead of taking the opportunity to actually learn the full story and truly help a sista out.

With love, honesty, and respect,

May 6, 2016 4

Inspiring Millennials with Mimi Zheng

Confused twenty something who hates your job? Wish you could live your purpose and passion in your work everyday? We chat with millennial career coach who inspires twenty somethigns to find careers that fit them. Learn how she re-defines success and achieves her own happiness. the confused millennial rachel ritlop interview with mimi zheng

Happy Monday!

Incase you missed it: every Monday we are doing a new kind of #MotivationalMonday here at The Confused Millennial! We launched TCM Tv last week with our first episode of the “Inspiring Millennial” Series (watch the first episode here + bonus episode with Scott Barlow here).

This week I am beyond excited to have Career Coach Mimi Zheng! Mimi is a master networker (seriously she sent a Tweet that landed her in Silicon Valley!) and teaches this skill to her clients as well as how to find the purpose driven career that excites you! She too was once a confused millennial (she has worked in numerous industries and jobs ranging from theme parks, to photography, to colleges, and start-ups in Silicon Valley).

In the episode Mimi shares how she thought she landed her dream career in the “Hollywood of Tech” (aka Silicon Valley)… only to realize she craved more out of a career. She shares about her “quarter life crisis” and how it helped her re-define what success meant to her, especially as it relates to family and cultural pressures. Lastly, she talks about the role “Mastermind” groups have played in helping her launch her business.

To connect with Mimi or schedule a consult click here.

Want more job searching tips?

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