Learning financial responsibility in your twenties is so important. We share the six money lessons to learn before you turn 30 to set yourself up for financial freedom and financial peace. – The Confused Millennial. Millennial Money. Gen Y.
Learning financial responsibility in your twenties can be a total game changer for your future. By getting the following six lessons before you turn thirty, you can set yourself up for more financial freedom and peace later in life.
1. Get a side hustle now. Seriously, while you still have the energy and time, get a side hustle. Not only will you save some coin by not spending every evening at happy hour after work, but you will also be earning some cash during that time.
2. Every dollar has a place. In other words, get a budget! Create a budget and assign every dollar to a category. If you have money left over you will spend it on dumb stuff, instead allocate it towards financial goals so you aren’t tempted to waste in on yet another one of Kylie’s lip packs.
3. Set financial goals. Whether they are paying off debt by a certain deadline, saving for a retirement or a home, start thinking about your financial future.
4. Make saving for retirement a necessity. To the previous point, if you are debt free, then saving for retirement via an IRA or 401k should be a fixed cost in your budget. The younger you start saving the more of the compounding interest you can rack in. Plus did you know it’s nearly impossible for someone who started saving for retirement at age 30 to catch up to someone who started saving for retirement at age 20?
5. Building credit takes time, destroying credit takes minutes. Seriously, every time you open a retail card for 20% off hurts your credit. Then factor in the fact that most Americans are living in financial chaos, (for example: forgetting to pay the bill on that retail card), and it has the potential to hurt you even more!
A good rule of thumb if:
– your new to credit (as in just started using it in the last 6 years) or
-if you don’t have an emergency fund with six to nine months of income in it, or
-if you have had a checkered past with credit
is to only charge what you can pay off in 24 hours.
6. Live below your means. In your twenties you will probably make some nice jumps in your career, which come with nice salary boosts. You should use that as an opportunity to live below your means, rather than fall into the trap of lifestyle inflation to match your new paycheck. Remember, just because your co-worker come in with new designer shoes every week, does not mean they don’t have a buttload of debt they are paying off. Dave Ramsey says you have to “live like no one else today, so you can live like no one else tomorrow”… meaning that most Americans are in debt, and if we live below our means when we are young, we don’t have to be tied by debt in our future.
Want to start saving for your future? Get our checklist for saving on a tight budget!
Never meet your heroes. It’s a common phrase, check out what happened when I learned the truth, that many public figures put others down to elevate themselves. Self improvement requires effective and supportive communication. Don’t be passive aggressive and tell half truths to make yourself look better.
Recently I had an encounter with someone I once looked up to. Shewas a thought leader in my industry and I was hoping to connect and learn from her (maybe even become friends! We seemed to have so much in common!). I was hoping to get on her radar and join her network… only to have all of it shattered when I realized she was full of insecurities, competitive thinking, showmanship, and crap, all veiled under the pretenses of “enlightenment” and “compassion”.
At the same time this realization hit, so did this article on Business Insider where Stefanie Williams destroyed under paid Talia Jane. When I first read the article, I remember agreeing with some points, feeling Stefanie’s passion I even thought about sharing it, but then stopped myself because I realized I never actually read the original article she was referring to by Talia, and I didn’t want to spread such criticism without considering Talia’s experience. You see, I too waitressed to get to where I wanted to be, but there is a HUGE difference between waitressing or bartending and earning minimum wage. I see this often with my clients who are working minimum wage and for one reason or another can’t get a serving job. In serving you can make minimum wage, but you can also make $500 in one hour. There’s a huge difference in supporting yourself on these wages, and I have a lot of respect and empathy for Talia’s struggle.
I am SO glad I waited to share the article because today, this article by Sara popped up.
Sara writes, “Spoiler: kicking a younger sister when she’s down in self-congratulatory snark is neither gracious nor humble.”
Just like Stefanie, this person I once looked up to, used my low point to bolster her own false sense of being “better than” us younger more inexperienced folk. In this person’s weekly newsletter she used my weakness, my mistake, my struggle to put herself on a pedestal; describing herself as if she transcended above it all by being able to identify her emotional plight – however where is her action to support that awareness? Being aware of your internal dialogue is only half the battle… it’s what you do with that awareness that matters! How are you actually the change? You see Stefanie and this person did not actually offer compassion, empathy, or a helping hand. They both judged and passive aggressively attacked Talia and myself, only to boost themselves higher with half-baked truths and buzz words.
Words only mean so much – but your actions truly define you and it really does break my heart to pull back the curtain on these things and see the truth.
Recently, www.whatmillennialswant.com asked me what I was “confused” about and I stated “everything and nothing all at the same time” – and it’s because of exchanges like these described above.
Nothing is ever what meets the eye, and I guess this week was a friendly reminder from the universe to not believe everything you read on the internet ;-).
NOTE, in an effort to not be full of crap, I want to shine a light on myself and my past: I’ve lied, I’ve cheated, I’ve stolen, I’ve been passive aggressive, and made more mistakes than I can count in my life. I’ve said one thing and done another. I am not perfect, I am not transcended, but I do try to make an effort that my words align with my emotions and my actions. If it doesn’t feel right and I can’t support it with action, I usually (96% of the time) won’t say it or agree to it; and I certainly WON’T promote it.
Nobody is perfect, my issue is when others go on larger platforms to promote that they are better than instead of taking the opportunity to actually learn the full story and truly help a sista out.
Queen Bey paused time this weekend with the HBO launch of her visual album, Lemonade. What can we learn from Beyonce? Check out The Confused Millennial’s 7 Life Lessons from Beyonce’s Lemonade
Beyonce stopped the world with her release of Lemonade last weekend.
Say what you want about Formation, but I loved it! I never looked at it as a diss on the police force, but rather a call to action for more accountability on the people who are supposed to protect us. Having worked in the mental health field for years, I see how the “caretakers” or “advocates” can actually abuse their power, and I am sure this is a truth that carries into all positions of power and authority, and there needs to be more accountability. I will say this and I am not proud of it: while working as a therapist there were times when I was angry about something and would go to facilitate a group, and the clients would get the “hot seat” treatment where they were challenged harder because of what was happening with me personally. I am sure this truth carries over to others, especially for some policemen getting a more trigger happy and rough when they have something going on in their life. There needs to be greater accountability and mental health support (seriously how is therapy not a requirement for all police officers? They see some traumatic and awful shit) and requirements for people across the world, but especially for people in positions of authority, power, or care taking.
Anyway I digress… this is about Lemonade! Seriously this is one hour of dope music and captivating visuals that will take you on an emotional rollercoaster of anger, pride, sadness, and love.
Seriously, this is art with tons of life lessons and messages in it. I am barely scratching the surface in this post of the life lessons in Lemonade:
1. Be true to you above all else. Beyonce says ” I tried to change. Closed my mouth more. Tried to be softer, prettier, less awake.” – Don’t change who you are it will only dull you down. Nothing puts me off more by a person than insecurities and trying to conform… maybe it’s because I’ve dulled myself too many times to be liked or try to fit in only to feel totally miserable and hating myself.
2. Your actions effect others. When Bey sings “What a wicked way to treat the girl who loves you” – seriously I had a knot in my stomach of hurt and anxiety. Seriously people, I preach this all the time, but humanity is based on the sense of community. Community lifts people up and inspires people. The way we treat others, directly or indirectly matters.
3. Never lose yourself or give them your power. “So what are you going to say at my funeral now that you’ve killed me? Here lies the body of the love of my life whose heart I broke without a gun to my head. Here lies the mother of my children both loving and dead. Rest in peace my true love who I took for granted. Most bomb p*ssy.”
4. You can break the cycle. You can be better, live better than your parents. One of the most powerful moments in the video is when Beyonce shares home movies of her as a little girl with her father, immediately followed by home videos of her father with her daughter, which goes into a “mother daughter” talk like scene, where she says “Am I talking about your husband, or your father?”, implying the cycle of abuse makes these two indistinguishable from one another. Bey then sings “Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you consider yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of life? You think it’s not possible for someone like you? But you are the love of my life….There is a curse that will be broken” – Showing that we can challenge the cycle, we can be better, we can break the cycle.
5. Turn lemons into Lemonade. “Take 1 pint of water, add a half pound of sugar, the juice of 8 lemons, the zest of half a lemon, pour the water from one jug into the other several times. Strain through a thin napkin. Grandmother, the alchemist. You spun gold out of this hard life. Conjured beauty from the things left behind. Found healing where it did not live. Discovered the antidote in your own kitchen. Broke the curse with your own two hands. You passed the instructions down to your own daughter. Then she passed it down to her daughter.” In another home movie, Bey’s grandmother shares how she was served lemons in her life and she made it into lemonade. A great reminder that no matter what cards you were dealt, you have the choice and power to change the perspective.
6. Nothing real can be threatened. “My grandma said nothing real can be threatened. True love brought salvation back into me. With every tear came redemption. And my torture became my remedy.” – Damn I needed that. I was literally crying by this point again. Seriously think about how powerful a statement that is… every time we find ourselves angry, jealous, or threatened… the answer is true love. When I think of true love, I think of faith. When I think of true love I think of it towards ourselves, not others. Isn’t that the answer? Finding a way to truly love ourselves, our fears and our insecurities, our intuition and our strengths, to live a life of purpose and passion and security? When we find home in our own hearts, no one can take that away.
Looking to discover new bloggers? Are you a new blogger yourself looking for advice or a blogging community? Check out The Confused Millennial’s Liebster Award 2016 — The Confused Millennial. Plus there may be some surprise dance moves!
Ahhh! I am so excited to write this post! First of all, huge shout out to the hilarious Terry Ann of Accidentally Adulting for nominating me for this Award! Her blog documents her choices and struggles with adulting in a totally real and hilarious way, so go check her out!
For those of you who don’t know, The Liebster Award is all about discovering new blogs! Bloggers nominate other bloggers for it, how cool is that? Talk about community! Each nominee can choose to accept, answers questions from the previous blogger, and shares random facts (for official rules scroll over the award later on in the post).
Check out my responses below:
Who is my favorite blogger? The blogger who has totally inspired me is The Balanced Blonde (TBB). I first heard about two years ago from a friend (Mrs. Adventure of Mr. and Mrs. Adventure). She shared how TBB blogged about being vegan and healthy eating, only to develop disordered eating habits and an obsession with healthy eating (called orthorexia) and made the transition out of veganism. She got a ton of back lash and cyber bullying as a result. This girl has literally created an entire life style brand around her blog and overcome so much that it truly inspires me to do the same with my blog.
What is your favorite TV show? Uhm I literally can’t decided. I probably watch 50 hours of television (at least) each week! I usually always watch an oldie (Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Dawson’s Creek — Who else is super stoked about The OC coming to Hulu?!?), with the current shows (Quantico! New Girl, Nashville, Gotham, Scandal) and Binge on one Netflix shows at a time (Kimmy Schmidtt, Cuckoo, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, etc.), oh and of course Girls, Silicon Valley, and Game of Thrones! If you ask me for a TV recommendation I will probably ask you what your mood is and types of genres, and how invested you want to get before making a recommendation that is pretty dead on. Heck have you seen my post about my favorite Netflix hacks?
What do you love to do but suck at? DANCE! I will just leave this here…
3 Biggest Pet Peeves? OMG there are too many to count… Liars, people who lack integrity and don’t follow through, or put on a false persona, and tapping (like your fingers or knees)… Oh the list goes on…
Knowing what I know about life what 3 things would I warn my younger self about?
1. It’s okay to talk about emotions and ask for help, even if the first few people tell you “no”.
2. You are not invincible and fear is healthy.
3. You are your own person.
What is a deal breaker in a relationship (romantic or platonic)? Haha it’s more like a set of traits that I find are commonly bundled into people I break up with in life: Lack of respect, lying, manipulation for their own needs.
What trait do you admire most in yourself and others? Empathy. It was a hard skill for me to learn (What up Dr. Del Moro and Interpersonal Communication Skills!) – to truly understand the difference between empathy and sympathy… but once it clicked it changed my life. The ability to truly understand someone else’s feelings or perspective and not make it about you or put a silver lining on it so difficult (it goes against everything we are taught growing up), because it means getting in touch with a part of ourselves we are often afraid of and not flipping the script to make it about ourselves, but rather sit with that person in their struggle. For more on empathy, I’ll share this video I often showed while working as a counselor with my groups where Brene Brown does a great job explaining it:
If money wasn’t an object what would I do with my time? Exactly what I am doing now! Volunteering, blogging & coaching… I want to leave a positive impact on others which is why I created a business that aligns with this purpose.
If I were stuck in an elevator for 12 hrs who would I want to be stuck with? My fiancee. We would make sweet dance videos, laugh, and probably cry because I would get claustrophobic.
What is one random fact about you? I don’t know how to laugh properly and sound like a hyena that often gets hiccups.
I nominate the following bloggers for the Liebster Award (official rules when you hover over image below!):
To accept, follow the rules outlined when you hover over this image:
The official rules of the Liebster Award: Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog. Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.) Answer questions from the Blogger that nominated you. (you can use my questions above or create your own) Provide 10 random facts about yourself (optional) Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 1,000 followers. Ask your nominees to answer questions. List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here.) Once you have written and published it, you then have to: Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post so they can learn about it and know what to do! (they might not have ever heard of it!) Post your Liebster Award blog post link in the comments of your nominator’s Liebster Award Post!
Sometimes our heroes are public figures, sometimes they are people… either way they have real impact on our everyday lives. Remember with every action you take, you are leaving an impact on this world, be it good or bad, positive or negative. Humanity is a community.
We are all heroes to someone in life. No matter what you think of yourself, someone somewhere has been influenced by your decisions and actions.
As a young Millennial I seek to change the world one person at a time. These six folks have directly or indirectly influenced my life and shaped me as the man I am today:
Dr. Meg Jay: The author of “The Defining Decade” has indirectly influenced my life by shining a light on the plight of young Millennials in our 21st century world. As she stated, “Eighty percent of life’s most defining moments take place by age thirty-five.” This motivates me to take action today, as Jay said, “Twenty is not the new thirty”.
Susan Cain: The author of “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” is starting a Quiet revolution in both our personal and professional lives. I believe that the introverted personalities voice must be heard in order for a balanced world to be established.
Lewis Howes: An entrepreneur & author of “The School of Greatness” which is an amazing book talking about how to develop your hustle muscle in life. Now, I am hustling to make positive changes in my life thanks to Lewis!
Morgan Klingelhoefer: A college student at Indiana University, Bloomington who I met at LeaderShape 2014. I can name numerous reasons why Morgan changed who I am, but the main reason is her upbeat personality which is infectious. She motivates me to continue to succeed with a positive outlook. May we forever be lifelong friends who will never forget the influence we had on one another!
Anna Chapman: A recent graduate of Indiana University, Bloomington who I met at LeaderShape 2014. The main reason I loved Anna was how comfortable she was with everyone and everything around her. If I could be like that, I would imagine I would feel so happy and free. May good fortunes shine on your life and stay in touch!
Noe Vera Duran: A lifelong friend who I met while washing laundry in a residence hall at Indiana University, Bloomington. The experience we had together as student residents and eventual resident assistants was memorable because we got to see each other grow as people. I am proud to have witnessed the transformation. May we stay connected and find each other when either of us are in need!
I can’t begin to fathom how different my life would have been without meeting or hearing about these six folks. Thank you for shaping my life!
How will you change other’s lives?
Now, I want you all to think about this:
Who has influenced your life and how?
Let us know in the comments!
Hello everyone! My name is Kevin King and I am a Millennial who believes in learning something new each day. As a former student leader at Indiana University Bloomington, I engaged my student peers to grow as future leaders while being a resourceful resident assistant. Currently, I share my knowledge and opinions on living life as a Millennial through my various social network profiles. To connect with my social networks, please visit my website here. Hope to hear from you soon!
Writing your life’s mission statement is so important for your success. It can help you find fulfillment and happiness quicker, it can help you write your personal statement for college or your business mission statement if you’re an entrepreneur.
In business we write mission statements to show our consumers our heart and soul. A mission statements showcases that we are more focused on a movement than money. It brings employees together, it bonds us with our consumer, and it acts as a guiding light when we are tested or challenged.
When applying to college we write a “personal statement”, similar to a mission statement, but this time to connect the admissions department to our heart and soul and really showcase why we would better their campus.
In life we are constantly asked to showcase our “why”:
– Why should we be considered?
– Why should we listen to you?
– Why should we want to connect with you and build a relationship?
I see so many people struggle to identify their “why” in life and put it into words.
HINT: You may feel confused about your “Why” if you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or like you are running in place without getting anywhere.
While in college, I was facing a lot of unknowns about my future, as a lot of us are. I felt overwhelmed, lost, and well…confused (no pun intended #TCMillennial for life!).
I remember talking with one of my teachers and she recommended I read the book “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl. The book is about Frankl’s experience during the Holocaust. Before the Holocaust began, he was a psychologist in Germany. When the Nazi’s began to invade he and his family were separated. While he notes surviving the Holocaust was partly luck, he focuses the book on the quality he saw in survivors… the people who did not lose the will to live despite such atrocity; hence the title “Man’s Search for Meaning”.
This book taught me to identify my why be really asking myself what drives me to get out of bed every morning? When things get tough what keeps me focused and on track? When I feel like giving up, why do I choose to continue?
So I ask you: What drives you? What did you want to be when you grew up? What are your hopes and dreams and why are they you’re hopes and dreams? What activities are you engaged in that result in your losing all track of time and feeling totally happy and fulfilled? When times are difficult what moves you forward?
Is it a feeling you get and what others to feel? Is it a product or service you can provide? Is it community and connection your crave?
Get into the nitty gritty of these questions, and then write your life’s mission statement. It will guide you in tough times, in career transitions, in relationships that are no longer serving you, and so much more.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed or lost or confused, I need to remember my life’s mission statement. My “Why”.
My purpose in life is to help others through difficult times. To help others find their purpose and passion. To help others feel connected and fulfilled.
Heck it relates totally to why I started The Confused Millennial and my career and business coaching business. I want to help others with this confused and overwhelmed feeling. I want to showcase other inspiring millennials struggling & living life & challenging themselves. I want to engage in real conversations with real people. I want community.
What is your life’s mission statement? Share it with us in the comments!
Is college really worth the investment? What are the benefits of college? Are you a college student? Are you taking part in these five pillars for college success, academics, socializing, extracurriculars, professional development and networking, and time management? Check out the confused millennials thoughts from an inspiring millennial
College. It’s a word that makes many tremble before it or reminisce about a time lost to eternity; but what does a 4-year college experience really offer us?
As a recent graduate from Indiana University in Bloomington, I often wonder about this… I finally broke it down into what I call “the five pillars for college success”.
Pillar 1: Academics. We all know what the news networks, business magazines, and academic advisors say about college: It’s worth the time and financial resources spent, but as more and more high school graduates enter college a bachelor’s has become the norm in entering the workforce. For some, the tens of thousands spent on their degree isn’t worth the hype. Personally, attending college was partly to follow in my parents’ footsteps and partly to engage in lifelong learning, which I did as a Hoosier student. I am happy to say that with the college courses I took, I feel prepared to conquer anything the world tosses my way.
Pillar 2: Extracurriculars. Unless it’s greek life, this is often one of the most undervalued and under utilized aspects of the college experience. College isn’t just about acquiring great grades in class., but also building life long relationships, being apart of a community, and learning to create balance in our lives as young adults. Extracurriculars are also a great way to stack your pre-graduate resume by getting involved with campus groups as a student leader. While at IU, I balanced both academics and extracurriculars to a good degree and was recognized for my personal contributions to the overall campus environment during my four years on-campus. As a result I’ve been able to get clearer about my career goals and bolster my networking skills while entering the workforce.
Pillar 3: Professional Development. Major, internship, and job… these three words are constantly thrown at college students. What isn’t talked about enough while in school? How important building your personal network is while in school and the role that will play in your professional development post-graduation. Networking is essential for making connections with those that could help attain that first dream internship or post-graduate job. I landed my first internship as a graduate of Indiana University through my personal network as a college student on-campus, so go forth and make some connections!
Pillar 4: Socializing. Human civilization is built around socializing with others in either niche or general communities. We typically congregate around those who share similar interests or live nearby, as evidenced by college students on in a specific dorm or greek house. While in college, I found myself around those with strong interests in politics and student engagement, which I later realized shaped my career goals. Your social relationships in college are both about creating balance in your life, but also in learning who you are as a young adult.
Pillar 5: Time management. Many college graduates and soon-to-be graduates feel there isn’t enough time in college to focus on what they truly love; however, I disagree. I have found that many college students struggle with poor time management skills, which ultimately harms their personal health and overall excitement to learn. As a recent graduate, I used effective time management skills to my advantage and harnessed it to be a student leader guiding struggling students to safety when everything for them seemed hopelessly lost. I was able to make time for helping others, learning from others, and learn about myself.
College is a time for self exploration. To get the most out of your four years try to focus on the above five pillars for college success. I know by trying things outside of my comfort zone I was able to become a student leader who inspired others, network my way into some amazing opportunities, and learn how to create balance in all areas of my life while getting the most out of college.
I hope that these five pillars for college success are taught to many incoming college students and that everyone understands that all lifelong learning is multi-faceted in nature because one learns just as much outside the classroom as inside an academic environment.
Do I believe in higher education? Yes, I do believe it’s worth the struggle if you’re ready for it.
Hello everyone! My name is Kevin King and I am a Millennial who believes in learning something new each day. As a former student leader at Indiana University Bloomington, I engaged my student peers to grow as future leaders while being a resourceful resident assistant. Currently, I share my knowledge and opinions on living life as a Millennial through my various social network profiles. To connect with my social networks, please visit my website here. Hope to hear from you soon!
Struggling with making your dreams a reality? Want to reach for the stars? 3 Secrets to believing in yourself. Overcome low self esteem, self deprecating thoughts, anxiety, or depression by believing in yourself. Self love and self care are so important to being our best selves.
Believe in yourself.
It sounds so easy, but why is it so hard? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started and stopped a project in my life. How many times I’ve given up. How many times I’ve let rejection or others criticism define me.
As a career and business coach I often get consultation requests in which I have prospective clients complete a questionnaire and almost unanimously, the clients talk about fear, uncertainty, or lack of clarity holding them back in their careers or businesses.
These emotions, these thoughts, are such universal barriers… how have we not come up with a better way to overcome them by now?
I know I was meant for something big in my life. I know that every unique experience I have been through, every struggle, and every hurdle have all been leading me towards something meaningful. Sometimes I feel like I am stuck in quicksand, just running in place without moving forward, other times I feel like I am soaring on a jet plane to my destination.
Why the lack of consistency? Why does our motivation have a half life?
How we can stay motivated and hold onto that accomplished and proud feeling?
1. Schedule everything on your calendar. Not only is this a great way to stay organized with your to-do list, but it also can act as a “#Winning” Record, as it’s hard tangible proof of all that you’ve accomplished. Whenever I start to feel like I am stuck or not getting anywhere, I look through my calendar and celebrate all the little victories on it.
2. Write or re-visit your life’s mission statement. Whenever I feel burnt out on a goal, I revisit my “why” as in why I decided to tackle this goal? Why is it important to me? How is this fueling my bigger picture? If you haven’t written a mission statement for your life, do it! If you do have one, revisit it whenever you feel like burying your head under the covers.
3. Make the negative voice in your head shut up. For many of us, when we get rejected or receive criticism it hits a much deeper emotional chord. Sometimes it can even lead to hours of obsessing and dissecting the interaction. When we focus our energy on these type of situations we usually do one of two things:
a) React negatively. We let it define us. We let it crumble us. We let it cause us stress, anxiety, or anger.
b) React positively. We use it as a learning lesson. We take an objective look at our role in the situation and adjust accordingly. Maybe we put too many expectations on someone? Maybe we made a mistake? Maybe we ignored our gut or warning signs about a situation? Either way, we find our role in the situation, take responsibility for it, and move forward.
When we can acknowledge our role, we can tell the negative voice in our head to pipe down, because it doesn’t have power over us any more.
How do you overcome a funk? How do you believe in yourself when you feel like giving up? Let me know in the comments!
“They dont want you to win” “Don’t meet your heroes in real life” On the blog I am talking all about how the public figures we look up to are full of crap. How you are just as good as them. How you can win at life. 3 Ways the Public Figures You Look Up to Are Probably Full of Crap – the confused millennial
“Never meet your heroes” – We’ve all heard it before… we’ve watched it play out in movies like Adult World, in TV, and maybe even in real life. It’s so easy to believe and buy into someone’s public persona, and hope they really are that cool… But after a recent interaction with a professional “hero” of mine, I realized a very real lesson: Most public figures are full of crap.
“What do you mean? That’s a little extreme…” You may be thinking to yourself… but think about this:
It’s all sales tactics. They are not really “secure” or “philanthropic”; they don’t really know what they are doing… and most of their work is just a quick Google search away which terrifies them.
Seriously… let me break this down for you:
1. They are afraid. That’s right, they are quivering with fear that someone (maybe you!) will come in and become a direct competitor to their brand, because they realize that all of their content is out there for free and they didn’t learn what they learned in school, instead they learned it on-line and from personal experiences. They will preach an “abundant” mindset but they don’t practice it 24/7. They may hold it together for a while, but trust me, start to impede on their territory and they will tremble with fear. They only want to “help” as long as it keeps you under their thumb… indebted to them as their “bitch” if you will.
So how can you be different? I am not really sure, I am trying to figure that out myself. What I am trying to do right now is to shine a light on the crap they are spreading, all the things that I struggled to filter through. All the things that led to comparison paralysis for me.
Starting a business is terrifying. Growing a business is terrifying. I do believe there are enough consumers in the world for everyone, but hell I have no idea who they will buy from… I have no idea if my clients will hire or fire me. I have trust and faith the universe will support me, but that’s only because I am willing to work (and that includes waitressing or cashiering if need be to support myself).
I recently listened to As Told by Nomads podcast (What up Tayo Rockson!) with Tucker Max (remember him? He had that awesome no bullshit book that got some backlash “I hope they serve beer in hell” which was later made into a movie), and during the podcast Max says, “Most best seller lists are bullshit… They’re basically just a bunch of people trying to prove to other people they are important”. That’s what all these coaches and “public figures” are doing too.
2. They don’t really care or have altruistic intentions. Obviously this isn’t true for everybody, but most people I have come across who promise to give you their time or something for “free” – its not really for free. I can’t tell you how many time I’ve been bait and switched with “sign up for a free discovery call!” only to be told they are “booked for a year” and then introduce me to some one else (who is either an affiliate or they are getting a kickback referral fee from); BUT I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU FOR A FEW MINUTES! I didn’t want to sign up for anything, I don’t want to talk to this random person, and before I can respond they have already passed my information along! Even on my website, its bullshit “sign up for you free guide to blah blah blah”, why am I offering you this? So I can get your e-mail address, so I can start sending you fluffy e-mails that inspire you to hire me or buy my shit.
Furthermore, look closely and their charity work actually has no proof, and it’s the same pictures from years ago. Most brilliant marketers or sales people realize that millennials buy into products and companies that focus on social good. So a lot of them have started including pictures of some charity trip, but the pictures never change; or they highlight other people they know doing charity work, so psychologically you associate that persons’ charity work with them. It’s all a marketing scheme.
How can you be different? Actually do what you say you’re going to do! Don’t false advertise, if you say someone can schedule a consult call with you, make sure you actually have the time and can actually schedule it. If you boast about social good, make sure you are actually apart of the movement.
3. They have no clue what they are doing either, but are too afraid to admit it. Seriously, if the person you look up to considers his or herself an expert, RUN. Nothing worse than an ego maniac power tripping. Most of the people I looked up to, actually have no idea what they are doing either. They are teaching as they go and “faking it until they make it”. This is why I love Derek Halpern so much, go into any of his webinars or sales pages and he straight up tells you to sell things that you are teaching yourself as you go. He is fully transparent in his sales tactics, which I have mad respect for. He isn’t manipulatively hiding behind his sales tactics where they “get vulnerable” about a weakness or blunder that isn’t really a big deal (like that interview question about your greatest weakness, and then you just share a positive thing about yourself while trying to frame it as a weakness) with things like “I’m getting vulnerable here and going to share my major mistake as an early business owner, about when I stubbed my toe while meeting a client for the first time and how I realized it was a blessing because it made me human too”… BARF.
How can you be different? Any good career coach will tell you interviewers don’t want to hear about your strength that you are trying to pass off as a weakness… it’s fake. Instead people want to hear about TRUE weakness, TRUELY humiliating situations and what ACTIONS you took to change. Or for you to just be honest that you are always learning, always growing, and do not consider yourself an expert. You are a work in progress, and whether I’ve worked with 1 client 100 clients or 10,000 clients, I will still not be an expert; and more importantly, I don’t want to be.
That’s not to say I haven’t spread my share of bullshit and fallen into the above traps myself. I 100% have, but that’s why I decided to start TCM, because I don’t want to be like everyone else. I want you to really know me and exactly where I am at. I can probably give you some really good advice, but do I feel like I know what I am doing? No. Do I know this stuff has worked for me? Yes. Do I know if it will work for you? I have no idea.
I will leave you with this truth bomb from DJ Khaled…
Have a question or want me to write about a specific topic? Let me know here.
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Jul 6, 2016
Finance, Relationships, Wedding Wednesdays
wedding, diy, relationships, financial responsibility
Invibed.com
35 Comments
Jul 6, 2016
Finance, Relationships, Wedding Wednesdays
wedding, diy, relationships, financial responsibility
Invibed.com
35 Comments
Jul 6, 2016
Finance, Relationships, Wedding Wednesdays
wedding, diy, relationships, financial responsibility
Invibed.com
35 Comments
Jul 6, 2016
Finance, Relationships, Wedding Wednesdays
wedding, diy, relationships, financial responsibility
Invibed.com
35 Comments
Jul 6, 2016
Finance, Relationships, Wedding Wednesdays
wedding, diy, relationships, financial responsibility
Invibed.com
35 Comments
Jul 6, 2016
Finance, Relationships, Wedding Wednesdays
wedding, diy, relationships, financial responsibility
Invibed.com
35 Comments