How to Have a Great Wedding Without Going Broke

You might remember Mr. & Mrs. Adventure from this vlog interview I did with them. Here is Mrs. Adventure sharing about their budget friendly wedding tips!

The year before our wedding we lived in a van because we wanted to travel… the year after our wedding we knew we still wanted to live in a van because we loved the lifestyle, but we were now moving abroad to travel… So how were we going to manage throwing a “Mr and Mrs Adventure worthy” Wedding without burning through the funds we needed to build our bright and bold future together? Very carefully, that’s how.

Here are 9 tips you can follow to help plan a budget-friendly wedding that will exceed your WILDEST dreams!

1. TALK ABOUT IT and plan accordingly.

It’s important to discuss, and agree upon, what you both feel is an appropriate budget for your Wedding Day, as well as what each of you are, and are not, willing to compromise on – personalized napkins, a 3-tier cake, photo booth or a DJ for the reception? Some things are more important than others, decide what those are and simplify the rest. For us, it was our guest list and location that we weren’t gonna budge on, the rest was just pretty little details.

2. LOCATION, LOCATION, (you’ve heard it before and we’ll say it again) LOCATION.

Research National Parks and State Parks in your area of choice. They have incredibly reasonable rates and usually have a beautiful dance hall to offer along with the unparalleled, natural beauty that will inevitably surround you.

Another great idea is to look into vacation rental property sites like HomeAway and VRBO, as they have some incredible homes listed that are especially used for weddings! In fact that’s how we found our dreamy beach house in Islamorada! Not only did our home provide us with a stunning venue, but we were able to choose all our own vendors, we didn’t have to worry about ending the party at 10pm and it also gave us a beautiful (and convenient) place to stay, no hotel needed! We truly couldn’t have been happier with our choice.

3. Enlist the help of family and friends!

Do you have an uber talented BFF who plays the guitar, the violin or piano? Or maybe your aunt is a hair stylist, your mom an incredible baker, your dad’s best friend a photographer or your fiancé’s groomsmen are pros at engineering outdoor lighting – who knew!? The thing is, these are the people who love you most in this world and having them truly be a part of your big day is what makes the MAGIC. You will never forget the time, effort and kindness of those loved ones who helped make your wedding dreams come true… enlisting their help not only makes less of an impact on your budget, but more importantly, it makes a priceless impression on your heart.

4. Make your own invitations!

This may seem easier said than done but with the right supplies and the desire to make something truly unique, anyone can do it, and depending on how many guests you have, you can literally save thousands! Paper Source is my FAVORITE place to go for supplies and then you can find a local printer to make beautiful, high-quality prints on card stock.

5. When it comes to food, remember that taste trumps all.

Do you have a favorite dish you both LOVE? Maybe it’s tacos, Thai or a sweet local food truck that serves up THE BEST grilled cheese in town! Keep things casual yet delicious, disposable yet sturdy. People don’t NEED steak and fine China to be happy, some brides might, but if your budget is a priority, there are much simpler ways to make sure everyone’s belly is happy – like the 6-foot sub we ordered from our fave deli for our engagement party! In the end, there was nothing left.

6. For flowers, think simple… or maybe even not at all?!

Just like a giant sub, you don’t always need to be fancy to be great. Let’s take Baby’s Breath for example – classy, feminine, timeless and wayyy affordable. These were the only flowers present at our wedding, except for the few white roses placed in my Bridal bouquet. As for boutonnieres, we didn’t even use flowers! We opted for starfish; find ways to incorporate your venue that benefits you while also adding to the uniqueness of your special day.

7. Make your own centerpieces, fo’ FREE!

Being that our wedding was shortly after Christmas and New Years, empty wine bottles were easier to find than Waldo on a blank page (hah!). Tip: If you don’t know someone who works at a restaurant, ask the manager if they would be willing to help – the worst thing they can say is “No,” and as long as you keep asking until you hear a “Yes,” you will succeed! With the help of my mom we de-labeled over 90 wine bottles, and with a bit of chiffon + a spool of hemp, our friends helped transform them into the beautifully dainty centerpieces you see here.

8. Beer + Wine + BYOL

Opt for flavored water and a self-serve beer and wine set up. If you’re concerned that won’t be enough for some, invite your guests to bring their favorite liquor or drink of choice! They won’t mind, honestly they’ll appreciate the option!

9. Refill your piggy bank with a HoneyFund!

Want to have your cake and eat it too? Chances are that after planning for your wedding, funds for your honeymoon will be running pretty thin. Instead of asking your guests for things, why not invite them to contribute to your honeymoon! A romantic picnic in Hyde Park, a castle stay in Ireland, a fancy dinner date in Paris – having a HoneyFund makes it that much easier to treat you and your honey to those special experiences no matter how much you did or didn’t go over budget 😉

Read about our romantic Honeymoon in London, made possible by the generous HoneyFund contributions of our loving friends and family.

Read the original article on Invibed. Copyright 2016. Invibed is an online community for successful millennials who are building wealth and creating their dream lives. Follow Invibed on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Brittany is one part of the adventurous, travel-blogging duo, MrandMrsAdventure.com! For two years she has been traveling across the globe with her now husband in their camper van! They enjoy exploring new lands, finding hidden gems in the world’s most vibrant cities, getting lost in nature and sharing their story all in hopes of inspiring others to live their best, most ADVENTUROUS life!

How He Asked

Getting engaged to a difficult person isn't easy for anyone involved. The Confused Millennial shares her story in getting engaged. — Getting engaged to a difficult person isn’t easy for anyone involved. The Confused Millennial shares her story in getting engaged.

I am just going to come out and say this… I can be difficult.

It’s true, most people describe me as “tough”, but when I am f*cking with their agenda, I’m difficult.

In 7th grade this label really became a part of me… You see, I hated our class president so I brought her $5.00 for the class field trip in all pennies and nickels… that’s right, not even dimes or quarters. The teacher told me I was difficult and refused to accept my money…. and I wonder why I have so many issues with authority… but that’s another topic for another day.

Today is all about how he asked in the Wedding Wednesday Series!

…needless to say… I was difficult.

So my fiancé knows me really well, and if you read the post on how met, you probably know a little about the type of woman I am…. I am one nosy mother f*cker and spend most of my days overanalyzing things and trying to figure out the jigsaw puzzles that are life and people.

We did and have done a lot together in the entire planning process. I actually went with him to meet with jewelers when planning my engagement ring. We decided on the jeweler together and I worked with them on my perfect ring… but I wanted the proposal to be a surprise.

…on a total side note about my ring: we had it shipped from New York, NY, and I actually had to SIGN FOR IT!

Do you know how hard it is to sign for your own engagement ring and not open it?!?

I had to throw the box aside, put on my sneakers and leave our apartment and told him that when I got home it better be gone!

… okay back to your proposal…

Obviously I knew we were getting engaged, but seriously had no idea when it would happen. I had recently graduated with my master’s degree, fast forward a few months after graduation and I was fired twice in under a month… and at the same time my fiancé was a one man show with his company; totally overworked and underpaid.

Not the best time in either of our lives, when one day my BFF from high school Jenna called me and told me she won some quarterly contest for her company and the prize was an overnight at my favorite spa in Miami, Canyon Ranch (now the Carillon), with massages and mani’s for two. She asked if I wanted to go with her and of course I exclaimed “YES!”.

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Then I had two weeks to sit, think, and… be difficult.

I like a very particular massage and couldn’t figure out why Jenna was being so weird about letting me call the spa to request certain things. My mind was going a million miles per minute during those two weeks – “How nice is her boss?”, “Why can’t I call the spa?”, “What was this contest anyway?” – When I finally walked into our bedroom, looked my fiancé square in the eye, and said,

“IS this you? IS this my proposal? Because that would be f*cking awesome!”

One thing you should know about my fiancé is he is the nicest person I’ve ever met and is a terrible liar …or so i thought…

He looks at me stunned, then saddened… his face fell as he said:

“I wish… You deserve such an amazing proposal, but honestly I just don’t have the time or money to put something like that together right now. I am so sorry.”

The look on his face was so sad and empty that I felt terrible for asking and putting pressure on him. I really let go of the notion that “this was it”.

The morning came and Jenna and I headed down to Miami for our mini get away. I was SO excited! It was November 9th, 2014. In Florida, the joke is “if you don’t like the weather wait 20 minutes”. Our weather changes in the blink of an eye!

No joke, growing up it would be pouring across the street and not a drop over my house or vice versa. Plus November is usually the start of our “dry” season when it rarely rains… but on November 9th, 2014 it was a torrential down pour the entire day. With maybe two or three 30 minute windows of no rain… but we will come back to that.

Jenna and I got our massages, and manicures. I tried this weird goldish matte color that I ended up hating. I couldn’t figure out why she and her manicurist (who knew I was getting engaged) kept pushing me to get it changed. The manicurist then told us not to go back into the wet area of the spa because it could result in bubbling of the polish. Since I didn’t like my polish I didn’t care, and Jenna started getting super weird telling me not to go and she even refused to go back in the jacuzzi or steam because she didn’t want to mess up her nails, so I went alone. She kept pushing me that we needed to do our hair and stuff and I was like “I don’t care if I go to dinner with wet hair” since I hate blow dryers.

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Finally we got back to the room and after 6 hours of massages, jacuzzis, steams, and saunas, I felt like jello. We were supposed to shower, rest for an hour and go to yoga before dinner. After showering I dove into bed and didn’t want to move for a year.

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Jenna was running around like a crazy person doing her hair and kept telling me to do my hair and make-up. I swear, we’ve known each other since the age of 14 , and I have never seen Jenna so high maintenance or annoying in my life. I looked at her like a crazy person and said “but we are going to yoga!” – she told me she wanted to take pictures at this pretty spot I showed her before yoga to get the light (Seriously, who was this person? If I wasn’t so tired I would’ve probably caught on). I kept arguing with her that I didn’t want to and we could do it tomorrow or after yoga. Then all 5 ft of Jenna suddenly transformed into Ms. Trunchbull from Matilda

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She commanded that I get dressed in my nice dinner outfit and put on make-up right now. I knew I needed to do what she said or there were going to be serious consequences.

…Little did I know, she was panicking because our room had a direct via of the rooftop that Eric was setting the proposal up on. I was so out of it I didn’t notice anything as Jenna frantically texted with Eric telling him to get down because I was looking out the window right at him! Meanwhile I was just looking at the ocean haha. Jenna kept panicking as she watched him scurrying around setting everything up and he was texting her and yelling at her to get me out there while we had a 30 minutes break in the rain…

Begrudgingly, I started getting dressed when I realized I forgot nice shoes so I decided to wear my flip-flops… which she started arguing with me over to put on her heels. I had it at that point and refused, telling her to just crop me feet out of the photo.

Like I said… I’m

We made our way over to this gorgeous grassy area on the rooftop overlooking the ocean. This exact spot my fiancé and I had stood almost 5 months earlier and I told him it was the perfect spot for a proposal. The rain had stopped for just a little bit and it the air felt kind of eerie from the cool winds and the place was a ghost town from the weather. As we start walking I see some guy dressed really nice… I said to Jenna we shouldn’t be there and tried to get her to turn back and not interrupt whatever was happening.

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She told me “no” and we would ask him to take our photo. I kept protesting for another minute as we were walking when finally my eyes adjusted and I realized it was Eric!

He had candles and rose petals all set up and this was it! I was so confused and overwhelmed all at once that I was squealing and shrieking.

Eric was so nervous you can hear his voice shaking in the videos we have… in fact it was so muggy out that when he went to pull the ring out of his pocket he couldn’t and had to double back up to do it.

I declared them both shits and then said “YES!”

I am so happy to be marrying my best friend. I still can’t believe how well he tricked me. Jenna and I always have a good laugh at how demanding she was being and what a brat I was being.

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Do you have a funny proposal story? Would love to hear it in the comments!

Stupid Simple Saving Tips for your Wedding

The number one struggle couples have during wedding planning? Keeping the wedding budget in check. There are so many logistics involved and decisions to be made that it’s no wonder people get a bit stressed out while planning their big day. My best advice for avoiding a breakdown and going over budget? Get clear on your priorities and your numbers! Before you even start spending a penny, you have to ask yourself a few important questions first:

1. What type of wedding do you want? Intimate and casual? Large and lavish?

The size of your wedding will make a big impact on the overall price tag, so keep that in mind when making your decision. How you envision your big day will shape the amount of money it will cost to pull it off.

2. How much can you realistically afford to spend?

Sit down with your fiancé and your families to decide on your budget. How much is each party able to contribute from their savings? Tally up all the funds and that will give you a good starting place to work from.

3. Is that enough to cover your costs?

Keeping in mind that total number from all your contributing parties, get some estimates and look at the average pricing for weddings in your area. (You can visit CostofWedding.com to get some basic info for your wedding location.) Is your wedding fund going to be able to cover the total cost of what you’ve envisioned?

If your answer to the last question is no, you have a couple of options to consider. You could alter your vision for your day and make some sacrifices such as inviting fewer people or opting not to go for the expensive designer dress of your dreams to stay within your budget. Or, you could make a savings plan to put away money each month to cover the remaining expenses. If you want to rock the wedding savings plan, I’ve got some suggestions to make saving for your big day a piece of (wedding) cake!

1. Keep It Simple, Saver!

I love the KISS principle for creating a savings plan; the simpler you make it, the easier it is to stick to. Calculate how much you’ll need to save in total, and then divide that into the number of months you’ll be engaged to determine your monthly savings goal.

2. Examine Your Personal Budget

Do you have the extra cash in your monthly budget to put towards your wedding day? If not, see what areas you can choose to cut back on in order to free up some of your funds to go towards your wedding. You could also consider picking up a part time gig or starting a side hustle to bring in extra cash for your wedding fund.

3. Automate Your Savings

The easiest way to save is to automate! Many banks now offer automatic withdrawals where you can set how much money to move from your checking to your savings account each month. Just set it and forget it, and watch your wedding fund grow without having to feel the pain of removing the money from your account each month.

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Hopefully this plan will help you save, simply. Now when it comes to planning the details, booking vendors and making purchases for your big day, there are plenty of ways you can keep the costs down. Here are my top 5 tips for reducing your overall costs:

1. Trim the Guest List – Plain and simple, it will cost you more money to host more people. If you choose to host a large wedding and are working with a limited budget, you will have to make sacrifices in other areas to accommodate your guests.

2. When and Where – The date and time as well as the location all play a big role in determining wedding costs. Choosing an off-peak season to get married or opting for mid-week versus Saturday night could save you big money. Also, if you’re a city dweller in a major metropolitan area, it could serve you well to have a reverse-destination wedding in the suburbs to lower your costs.

3. Shop Savvy – Be sure to do your research and shop around for the best prices on items for your wedding. My motto? Never pay full price. Take advantage of rewards miles and online coupon codes, and don’t be afraid to hit up a thrift shop to save some moolah.

4. DIY if you Dare – There are likely some aspects of your day you could do yourselves for less, whether that’s creating décor or being your own DJ. Take on only what you can realistically handle or consider utilizing the talents of family and friends.

5. Buck Tradition – Don’t be afraid to say “no thanks” to wedding traditions that you don’t love or that add to your overall cost. Seek out inexpensive alternatives such as swapping expensive fresh floral arrangements for tissue paper flowers or opting to serve donuts instead of a luxe multi-tiered wedding cake.

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Overall, you should do what feels most comfortable and practical to you and your future spouse. Do what you can with what you have – I promise that no matter what the centerpieces look like it will still be one of the happiest days of your life!

Download TCM’s checklist for saving on a tight budget here

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Jessica Bishop is the editor and founder of TheBudgetSavvyBride.com, a site that provides realistic inspiration and practical advice for planning a beautiful wedding on a budget you can actually afford. Visit the site to get all sorts of wedding budget tips, doable DIY projects, free printables, fun giveaways and more! Connect with BSB on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest for more budget savvy wedding goodness.

Patience & Stalking. A Millennial Love Story.

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Sometimes things just “click” in your twenties…

I remember the first time I met my fiancé… It was an October night in Florida, I was 22 years old, and had just finished my waitressing shift, changed in the bathroom, and headed over to a friends pool party. I remember not knowing a lot of people there, and kind of just sitting on the sidelines watching. We maybe said one word to each other, if that, and I forgot about him the next day.

Then a few weeks later I was *hate browsing (*hate-browsing: when you’re over something, but stalking it anyway) J-date with an anonymous profile (*like seriously, this entire thing was made up, and I still use it occasionally to help friends stalk*), just seeing who was out there, but didn’t actually want to deal with talking to anyone or filling out a profile… When I saw him! I remember clicking his picture and thinking “OMG WHO IS HE?? I WANT TO MEET HIM!” I immediately kicked into full on sleuthing mode and took this party over to Facebook, where I eventually found him and realized I’ve met him before! Not only had I met him about a month prior, I also knew his roommate and slept in his neighborhood 3 nights a week (side note: My mom had just sold our house and moved us in with my grandma at the time and I couldn’t get to class without a car (which I didn’t have), so I stayed at a friends house the nights before class #millenniallife).

I digress… I found myself thinking, “Okay Rachel, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO ACTUALLY MEET HIM? Without seeming like a total stalker”. I decided to ask his roommate to hang out, hoping he would be there… but he wasn’t. GRR 😡.

A week later I stopped by his place to return something to his roommate, as I got closer I saw them outside on the driveway talking, and literally skipped over (*well there goes all my cool…*). To this day he teases me for the events that unfolded that night:

A) I skipped over.

B) That item I was returning? A pair of socks I had borrowed, which I washed, folded, and tied together with a little green ribbon.

C) He was talking about his encounter with a psychic earlier that day (who said somebody was in love with him and he didn’t know it yet *ANOTHER SIGN?!?*) To which I proceeded to tell him how I believed my dad used black magic to get my mom and I back after they broke up and I believe that’s what killed him so young…. (*Well this just got weird…*)

D) And then to really mess the entire night up, I reverted back to a full on schoolgirl by picking on him.

I totally blew it. I tried wayyyy to hard and was not myself. He will even tell you that after that night he thought I was cute, but weird AF.

I spent the next few weeks, Facebook location stalking (FYI the Facebook app has this super fun feature, where you can see nearby friends), him and his friends every night when my waitressing shift finished. If I saw they were close, I would do a walk by… finally one night I saw he was down the street at a nearby restaurant, so I walked by and he was at one of the sidewalk tables with a bunch of mutual friends. I was giving my friend a hug when he tried to say “hi” to me, and I totally blew him off, giving him a “who are you?” look.

“WHY would you do that after going through so much trouble to “run into” him?” you might be wondering at this point… You see in my mind, he was SO out of my league. He’s ridiculously handsome, every person I asked about him said he was literally the nicest guy ever, and I thought there would be no way he was interested in me. I could not believe someone so good looking couldn’t be a player, so I decided to knock him off his pedestal (even though he wasn’t on one).

Then a few weeks later I was walking down that same street when I ran into him and his roommate (this was the actual universe, not my stalking), and I went to introduce myself to him… when “I quickly put the pieces together and “remembered” who he was” (<— you see what I did there? 😉) from the week before… I told him I would friend him on Facebook that night, and then… the next moment was EPIC: I put my hands on his shoulders and looked him square in the eye and said “I will never forget your face”.

A few weeks later on 1/1/12, I was eating brunch with my mom, when a waiter walked by our table and it was HIM (*okay, I know it may seem like I stalked out where he worked by now, but this was actually a coincidence, I totally thought he worked at the restaurant across the street*). This time he totally blew me off. I was so pissed! “How could he??” I thought! Until that night… when he Facebook chatted me, “So how’d you like the restaurant?”. We ended up talking for HOURS, I am talking high school AIM style. When he finally sort of asked me out… (I hate when people do that… like, make plans if you want to make plans, don’t get all noncommittal and weird if you don’t). So I called him on it:

The above is exactly why this site has disclaimers to all my typos!

We made plans for a date, and then he re-scheduled… 3 times. Now most people would be freaking out about this, but I was thrilled. You see, I had (have?) this rule: Don’t start a relationship between November through February. Why? Because most people are getting together for the wrong reasons (*not wanting to be lonely during the holidays*), and things just (typically) don’t go well. Each time he rescheduled we were getting closer and closer to a “no pressure” Valentine’s day.

The entire month of January felt like I was in high school again… spending hours on Facebook talking with butterflies in my stomach. I was on the verge of busting out my Lisa Frank notebook and gels pens to start writing his name in bubble letters with hearts when (I decided) the universe was sending me a sign: his roommate asked me to hang out, so I agreed, hoping it would be a chance to see him. I went over to their place after the gym and before class one day. Shortly before I had to leave for class, he came home and his roommate left to take care of something, so I decided class was cancelled and I was hanging out.

We ended up spending six or seven hours together that evening. We watched a movie, went to dinner, and then saw my childhood friend (country rockstar) Brooke Eden perform.

He had a work trip the next few days and wouldn’t be back until Valentine’s day, and boy was I happy! We would see each other again on 2/15 and I was perfectly content knowing we had made it out of the holiday mayhem, unscathed.

We pretty much have been inseparable ever since, and are getting married this year 😊.

Today, this level of stalking and patience is known as “pulling a Rachel” and I am blessed to get text messages like this from friends:

PSA: For all your stalking needs, call Rachel!

Want to read about our engagement story? Click here

With love,

Inspiring Millennials with Matt Hearnden

Are you struggling with jealousy or comparing yourself to others on-line? We chat with published Author Matt Hearnden about what its like to find your purpose and exercise your mindset muscle in your twenties. We talk about entitlement with millennials, and how to overcome it in this vlog. The Confused Millennial

In todays episode of Inspiring Millennials we have author Matt Hearnden all the way from the UK!

Matt got started with writing after getting fired, *oh how can I relate!*

…Actually our entire chat is very relatable, in a very taboo way. We have a lot of shared experiences (which I think a lot of millennials go through), but nobody ever talks about.

Some points we touch on:

How to prioritize your life over Netflix… #TheStruggleIsReal
How to overcome comparison and perfection paralysis in your twenties
How to develop patience and work use jealousy for good
Why entitelment is somethign to embrace
Plus 2 mindset practices: Before you watch, start by writing a list of important people in your life… then get ready for some valuable insight as Matt takes us through this exercise!

Connect with Matt on his website or Facebook.

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3 Reasons to Have a Long Engagement

Is having a long engagement okay? Why should you have a long engagement? What are the pros and cons of a long engagement? The Confused Millennial, Rachel Ritlop, shares three reasons to have a long engagement.

How awesome are our wedding photographers? Thanks Brooke Images!

In case you didn’t know…

I’m getting married!

Haha I’ve actually been engaged for a really long time (November 9, 2014) and we are tying the knot in mid-October 2016…

When we got engaged we always knew we were going to have a long engagement… but I did not know how much society (and people) judged having a long engagement. Seriously, I turned on the TV one day and Wendy Williams was talking so much trash about people with two year engagements!

Apparently, it’s a pretty common stereotype that there are “issues” or something when a couple is engaged longer than a year (year and a half max.). We have had many people ask us “are you guys still even getting married?” or “is everything okay with you two?”

I think it’s so wrong to judge and assume that you know what’s going on in a persons life based on their wedding timeline.

The truth is, our engagement was so long, not because my fiancee and I were having issues, but because my mother and I have been on rocky terrain for years and I spent the first year of my engagement emotionally preparing myself that she wouldn’t come to my wedding. While all of the juicy details of that is probably an entirely different post… a blessing actually came from drawing out the wedding planning process: I have been relatively stress free!

That’s right! I have found wedding planning overall to be totally stress free.

Why do I love the two year engagement?

1. Narrows your guest list. Seriously, having a longer engagement narrows your guest list! You would be SHOCKED by how many people came out of the wood work trying to re-connect after we got engaged and wanted to “hear all about wedding planning” — only there was nothing really to tell other than we had no idea what was happening and we’re enjoying being engaged. I started hanging out with old friends who I had lost touch with and found myself thinking, “well we used to be great friends, maybe she will be in my wedding party!”.

Before inviting all my long lost girlfriends to be bridesmaids, I decided to wait and if we stayed re-connected (I once saw this story on the Today show where a study was done that found most couples were no longer in contact with their wedding party 15-20 years later — and all of the anchors said they do not talk to almost anyone who was in their wedding party anymore). This segment from the Today show always stood out to me… Maybe I am being idealistic, but I want to stay life long friends with my wedding party, I don’t want to pay a buttload of money to have people at my wedding who I don’t think will be there for the long haul.

And sure enough, the people who I lost touch with were only interested in wedding conversations and not actual re-kindled friendship. I started to feel like people were only interested in coming to the wedding than being a dependable friend. Needless to say when we first got engaged we thought our wedding would be around 150 people… and now that we are 5 months away its about 65 people.

2. Less money. Thats right, a longer engagement has meant a lower cost wedding! Aside from the smaller guest list, it’s really allowed us to not make impulsive or emotional decisions. We’ve had time to research, We’ve had time to not get caught up in trends or what other people are doing. We’ve really had the chance to decide, “Is this adding to our guests experience and to representing us as a couple?” – if there answer isn’t “HELL YES!” to both questions, then we are cutting it from the budget. This includes spending $200 on my wedding dress instead of $2,000!

3. No expectations. Because the engagement has been so long, family and friends don’t have that same wedding excitement and momentum that I hear/see in other couples. For so long there’s been “nothing to report” and when there is something to report, it’s usually small and pretty spread out from the next small “something to report” that it’s created a lot of space and distance from opinions and emotions (thankfully!) – which has really allowed the process to be about my fiancee and I and our wants, wishes, and needs as a couple.

Are you planning a wedding or trying to save some $$$? Download our checklist for saving on a tight budget!

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Are you married or engaged? What tips do you have for planning a wedding and marriage? I would love to hear in the comments!

The Confused Millennial’s Liebster Award 2016

Looking to discover new bloggers? Are you a new blogger yourself looking for advice or a blogging community? Check out The Confused Millennial's Liebster Award 2016 — The Confused Millennial. Plus there may be some surprise dance moves! — Looking to discover new bloggers? Are you a new blogger yourself looking for advice or a blogging community? Check out The Confused Millennial’s Liebster Award 2016 — The Confused Millennial. Plus there may be some surprise dance moves!

Ahhh! I am so excited to write this post! First of all, huge shout out to the hilarious Terry Ann of Accidentally Adulting for nominating me for this Award! Her blog documents her choices and struggles with adulting in a totally real and hilarious way, so go check her out!

For those of you who don’t know, The Liebster Award is all about discovering new blogs! Bloggers nominate other bloggers for it, how cool is that? Talk about community! Each nominee can choose to accept, answers questions from the previous blogger, and shares random facts (for official rules scroll over the award later on in the post).

Check out my responses below:

Who is my favorite blogger? The blogger who has totally inspired me is The Balanced Blonde (TBB). I first heard about two years ago from a friend (Mrs. Adventure of Mr. and Mrs. Adventure). She shared how TBB blogged about being vegan and healthy eating, only to develop disordered eating habits and an obsession with healthy eating (called orthorexia) and made the transition out of veganism. She got a ton of back lash and cyber bullying as a result. This girl has literally created an entire life style brand around her blog and overcome so much that it truly inspires me to do the same with my blog.

What is your favorite TV show? Uhm I literally can’t decided. I probably watch 50 hours of television (at least) each week! I usually always watch an oldie (Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Dawson’s Creek — Who else is super stoked about The OC coming to Hulu?!?), with the current shows (Quantico! New Girl, Nashville, Gotham, Scandal) and Binge on one Netflix shows at a time (Kimmy Schmidtt, Cuckoo, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, etc.), oh and of course Girls, Silicon Valley, and Game of Thrones! If you ask me for a TV recommendation I will probably ask you what your mood is and types of genres, and how invested you want to get before making a recommendation that is pretty dead on. Heck have you seen my post about my favorite Netflix hacks?

What do you love to do but suck at? DANCE! I will just leave this here…

3 Biggest Pet Peeves? OMG there are too many to count… Liars, people who lack integrity and don’t follow through, or put on a false persona, and tapping (like your fingers or knees)… Oh the list goes on…

Knowing what I know about life what 3 things would I warn my younger self about?

1. It’s okay to talk about emotions and ask for help, even if the first few people tell you “no”.

2. You are not invincible and fear is healthy.

3. You are your own person.

What is a deal breaker in a relationship (romantic or platonic)? Haha it’s more like a set of traits that I find are commonly bundled into people I break up with in life: Lack of respect, lying, manipulation for their own needs.

What trait do you admire most in yourself and others? Empathy. It was a hard skill for me to learn (What up Dr. Del Moro and Interpersonal Communication Skills!) – to truly understand the difference between empathy and sympathy… but once it clicked it changed my life. The ability to truly understand someone else’s feelings or perspective and not make it about you or put a silver lining on it so difficult (it goes against everything we are taught growing up), because it means getting in touch with a part of ourselves we are often afraid of and not flipping the script to make it about ourselves, but rather sit with that person in their struggle. For more on empathy, I’ll share this video I often showed while working as a counselor with my groups where Brene Brown does a great job explaining it:

If money wasn’t an object what would I do with my time? Exactly what I am doing now! Volunteering, blogging & coaching… I want to leave a positive impact on others which is why I created a business that aligns with this purpose.

If I were stuck in an elevator for 12 hrs who would I want to be stuck with? My fiancee. We would make sweet dance videos, laugh, and probably cry because I would get claustrophobic.

What is one random fact about you? I don’t know how to laugh properly and sound like a hyena that often gets hiccups.

I nominate the following bloggers for the Liebster Award (official rules when you hover over image below!):

1. Mr. and Mrs. Adventure – also check out their interview with TCM here.

2. The Happy Arkansan

3. Katelyn Blogs

4. Ditching Adulthood

5. Lost Gen Y Girl

6. Sugar Spice and Sparkle

7. Seashells + Sparkles

8. Monogrammed Magnolias

9. The Pink Lyme

To accept, follow the rules outlined when you hover over this image:

The official rules of the Liebster Award: Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog. Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.) Answer questions from the Blogger that nominated you. (you can use my questions above or create your own) Provide 10 random facts about yourself (optional) Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 1,000 followers. Ask your nominees to answer questions. List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here.) Once you have written and published it, you then have to: Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post so they can learn about it and know what to do! (they might not have ever heard of it!) Post your Liebster Award blog post link in the comments of your nominator’s Liebster Award Post!

Bumble BFF Group Date

Wondering what all the hype is about Bumble BFF feature? Check out my experience on a group date! Finding friends as an adult is tough, and this app helps!

So you may know about my recent obsession with Bumble BFF, if you don’t read about it here.

Well last week one of my matches invited me on a group date with some other Bumble BFF’s. She actually invited me and another one of my friends on the app, who ended up bailing and deleting her account (#LifeofanIntrovert):

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After my friend bailed, I waffled about whether or not to go on this group date. Maybe I’ve watched one to many episodes of the Bachelor or maybe it’s the introvert in me, but the idea of a group outing terrifies me. I like to think I thrive in a one-on-one setting… where my awkwardness can (hopefully) come off as endearing, rather than full on creep. I decided to invite my high school BFF who had the idea for Bumble BFF a few months ago to see what it was all about, and be my safety net.

The morning of the group date I was pretty excited, until about an hour before the official start time, where I started to totally panic, bringing on a massive tension headache. I jumped in the shower and doused myself in tiger balm… then panicked that the tiger balm would leave me smelling like a nursing home and no one would want to be my friend.

I took a few deep breaths and headed over to the restaurant with my friend. As soon as we walk in there are two girls kind of awkwardly looking around at the hostess stand, and I wondered, “are they part of our group!?” when I notice the hostess, an old friend of mine who I used to work with and I totally freak out:

Relieved to see a familiar face, I start to calm down when another one of my former co-working friends is working at the restaurant too! I freak out again. By now the Bumble BFF crew is sitting down and my friend from high school has gone with them. Part of me wanted to stay and chat with my old friends, part of me felt like I needed to get to the Bumble table.

I finally say my good-byes and find our table, a long rectangular table with eight seats. The girls had already begun filling in the far end, which left me in the middle of the table, an introverts worst nightmare. I took a deep breath because at this point, the other half of the table was empty, so it’s like I was on an end really.

Everyone started talking and then the last two in our party joined, funnily enough they were the two that had invited everyone. Ultimately there were seven of us and we had a great time! We were together for about four hours! I barely even spoke to my friend I brought along, unless it was in a table discussion. I couldn’t believe how fast time went and how much fun we had.

All of the girls were smart and pretty accomplished in their careers, and just awesome! It was crazy too because each of us was connected to the other by some sort of overlap, whether it was meeting once in the past and forgetting until then or having a mutual friend or two.

We all became Facebook official at brunch and exchanged contact info and are planning our second group outing!

I think what I have loved most about Bumble BFF is how it pushes me out of my comfort zone and on these little adventures of meeting new people, even though my scenery is getting a little stale.

Have you tried Bumble BFF yet? What did you like or dislike? More Bumble BFF adventures to come!

Bumble BFF

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Ever since Tinder and Bumble launched, I’ve been in a relationship… so while I understand the concept of these apps, they’ve always been a bit foreign and out of reach for me. Then I saw that Bumble released its BFF feature!

I was super stoked about this for a few reasons:

It’s so much easier IMO to find a date (not that I’ve been dating the last few years…) than a friend today.
About 6 or 7 months ago one of my BFF’s developed an idea for an app that would allow you to find friends nearby, you could swipe left and right based on their profile of interests. She told me about it and I fell in love! We came up with the name #SquadGoals for the app. We started doing the research and realized there were a few similar apps that would probably beat us to market and the investment was just too big… so I was excited to see Bumble BFF on the market and in action! They even use “#squadgoals” when you match with a new BFF! At least we know we were on the right track! The major difference between our app idea and Bumble’s, is that we were going to NOT allow you to see the person, just fill out an interest profile or pull data… Bumble has gotten some backlash, “why would you choose friends based on appearance” but I will say this, I found my fiance from a picture (for that story click here), so why not a BFF? Plus, when I’ve been swiping right, its more about what activities the person is dressed for or doing in the photo then what they actually look like (bonus points if you’re in gym clothes walking on the beach or near a cool mountain) and if those align with me.
One of the only things I miss about working a 9-5 is my co-workers (well some of them…). Working for myself from home can become a little lonely sometimes. I am lucky to have my fiancé at home with me all day as he works on his business, but it’s still different than having actual co-workers who become friends.
I can finally SWIPE LEFT AND RIGHT! Seriously, this is SO much fun! I am bummed when I get to the end of my choices.

So what’s it been like once matched?

I’ve connected with six people so far. I have talked to five of the six, one connection expired without either of us ever reaching out.

I FREAKED OUT when my first connection happened. I called me best friend and asked what to do! I can’t remember the last time I was so nervous, should I message them first? Should I not? For some reason I found myself thinking and saying how much easier this would be if the BFF’s were guys instead, and one of my connections (I was her first!) actually said just that as her opening statement to me! #Winning!

Of the five people I’ve chatted with, I would say four of them are potential friends. The fifth I had an idea from her pictures we wouldn’t be new BFFs, but swiped right anyway just to see, and my gut was right, not a match.

I haven’t actually met anyone yet, but it’s been cool and exciting having a group of people to text with each day.

More to come when I have my first official Bumble BFF Date!!

Image source: Instagram: betches | http://www.betches.com/

p.s. I made my fiancé also create a Bumble account to check out Bumble BFF for men! Unfortunately his pool wasn’t as big as mine, and we had to increase his radius to about 35 miles and still he only had one option. I am going to have him keep checking and will hopefully be able to give some updates about how men are using it (when my friend had her app idea, one of the push backs she received was from male friends saying they wouldn’t use it)!

Have you tried Bumble BFF yet? What has been your experience? Love it? Hate it?

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